Thursday, August 1, 2013

Hey kid, ya gonna eat that?

Summer means hot days, blue skies and laughing children. Hot dogs, funnel cakes, corn dogs, ice cream, pie, fried dumplings dipped in your favorite Greek yogurt while you catch up on last week's episode of Dexter. OK. So, I've been indulging a little this season. Who can blame me? Its the kids dammit! They are  tiny enablers. "Taste this mom.", " Can we try that mama?" " Wait mom that's my finger not the cupcake." They are extremely pushy when it comes to inhaling their favorite summer treats. But you aren't a child anymore, honey. Your body no longer burns fat just from giggling. Time to snap back into shape. Yes, I'm aware I am far behind what ladies magazine refer to as "Bikini Season", but hell I haven't been able to finish a magazine in 7 years - I figure I'm no longer their demographic.

Its been about 7 days into my diet plan. I've been drinking more water, Exercising (otherwise known as extreme facebook-ing) and watching my caloric intake. I'm already seeing a change! Yeah, I'm more than certain I've GAINED 5 pounds. Sigh. What does a mom do? Yes, I want to pick my kids up from school in yoga pants and make people think I actually engaged in physical activity that day. But who can deny deep fried food and SnoCones?! What kind of crazy world do we live in? When we were little people, eating a whole damn bag of sugar would have little to no effect on us. Well, if your mother was a patient, saintly woman and you did not have a family history of diabetes, of course - but you didn't get love handles!

Ah, to be a child again. To really enjoy summer. Two months off from all responsibility  spent eating yourself into oblivion and developing a serious red dye #5 mustache.

Damn you adulthood. Once again you suck all the fun out of -FUN.

That is enough complaining. Sure, I cant suck the cheese out of a danish or polish off a giant jar of spicy pickles, but I sure as sugar can develop healthier eating habits and a leaner body. You will stop feeling sorry for yourself woman! You will put on your big girl panties (pun intended)  on and eat your veggies....

your bacon wrapped veggies.

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