Friday, August 24, 2012

The First Rule of Baby Fight Club

I've never done a Bugs Bunny -esque spit take. That was until I read this week  a Delaware daycare center was encouraging small children to fight one another. " Baby Fight Club", I whispered. Now, my SECOND thought was this story is awful. No child should have to cage fight another toddler! But my first thought: My kids would kick butt. I'm sure I am not the only parent who is convinced this is nothing short of genius. I mean, come on, can you imagine the cool wrestling nicknames? Think about it, names like " The Nipple Chewer" or "Episiotomy"! Holy mother of sippy cups!Oh man, I can see it now:

Announcer : " ... And in this corner, the King of Colic, the Conqueror of Jaundice... Eeeeeepiiiiiisiotomyyyyyy"!"

Just the thought gets me all excited. But please don't try this at home. I'm gonna make a wild guess that none of you are Mickey Goldmill, so your kid wont be properly trained, and a body slam would be inevitable.

 I'm almost certain child welfare laws in at least 49 states (I'm pretty sure anything goes in Alabama) wouldn't support your new-found family activity . So, before you start signing up the neighborhood kids for backyard brawls, remember two things: jail time will follow and MY KIDS WOULD DOMINATE.

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